how much do we really grow up?

I just finished The Golden Compass (I know, I know, very last minute) and really felt the need to write about it. I'd like to start off by saying that I think this book was beautifully written and told a wonderful story. I also think the controversy surrounding it is rather silly-- I mean, I never would have noticed that part of it as a child. I don't even think I would have seen it now had I not already heard all about it.

That said, I'm SO glad I didn't read it when I was younger. First, because I would have hated Lyra-- I was quite the little Purist and never would have been able to support the fact that she lied and manipulated virtually everyone around her (and that it was presented as a "talent"). More than that, though, this book would have terrified me. The amount of cruelty and the gruesomeness of it would have haunted me. Perhaps I'm just too sensitive (or imaginative, Pullman might argue-- that could explain why I was such a Purist), but the description of a Iofur's jaw being ripped off leaving his tongue hanging loose, followed by Iorek eating Iofur's heart, would have, without a doubt, given me horrible nightmares.

The body count also would have bothered me. SO MANY PEOPLE DIE IN THIS BOOK. This is just a taste thing, of course. I do realize that this sort of thing wouldn't bother everyone, which is completely fine. I just know how much it would have bothered me. I could accept a few deaths (I did read Lord of the Rings in elementary school) but I would have been angry, and probably even a little bit offended, that Roger dies. How do I know this? Because, to be honest, I still am. In a lot of ways, I still read books the way I did as a kid. I won't necessarily have nightmares or anything, but I was definitely deeply disturbed throughout the novel (and incredibly pissed off when Roger died). I'm still horrified at the cruelty and heartlessness of so many of the characters; just the idea of what was happening to those kids was enough to make me feel nauseous. Many times I wanted to close the book so I didn't have to think about it anymore.

I'm not sure where all of this is leading. I'm well-aware of the fact that many kids absolutely love this book, and the whole series, and that's a-okay with me! It really is a matter of taste, I think. And I would never presume to say it's "inappropriate" or anything like that-- I firmly believe that only parents should make that decision. I guess it's just to further the discussion of how kids read. I wouldn't have been able to handle this book as a child because I would have gotten so emotionally involved. That's probably evidence that Pullman tells a darn good story, but I think it's also evidence that, no matter how many analytic literature classes we take (and I've taken MANY) a lot of the ways we read last through adult-hood. The same things get under our skin and disturb us, even if we can't quite say how. And I think it's easy to read something as an adult and realize that, had we read that book at a younger age, it could have been an important experience (good or bad).

I don't know how others felt about the book. Frankly, it doesn't matter, because everyone will have responded differently. That's what makes literature so wonderful.